10 Things I Hate About Seattle

That's ridiculous. There weren't 10 things I hated about Seattle. I just wanted to call attention to the fact that 10 Things I Hate About You is set in Seattle. In case you've been living under a rock your whole life and haven't seen it, it's a great movie starring some people and Heath Ledger.

There's the Space Needle! IT'S REALLY SEATTLE!!!!

My two and a half days in Seattle were pretty much exactly like the movie. For example, remember the scene with the troll under the bridge?

Been there. Done. That.

The one holding the car is the troll.

Or they part where they play paintball? 

It's set in Gas Works Park, which in real life doesn't have paintball (unfortunately). 

Here is a super flattering photo of me there.

Oh my god, also, remember the part where they go to that party and Kat gets drunk and dances on the table but then she hits her head while dancing so Heath Ledger takes her outside and they sit on the swings and she goes "hey, your eyes have a little green in them" and then she baaaaaarfs?

That sort of happened to me too! Except it wasn't a party, it was me and Evan meeting up with a couple he's friends with for drinks. And instead of sitting on swings after drinking a zillion beers, we went back to our hotel. The part where Heath Ledger strokes Kat's hair tenderly after she upchucks didn't happen to me either. I woke up three times during the night to puke and Evan slept through all of it like a rock. THREE TIMES. Man, sleepless in Seattle, amirite?

All in all it was a really nice trip. Here are some more photos!

Riding the monorail

The idea was that you had time it just right so that you 

took the picture at the exact moment the seal whooshed by.

It's clear who the better photographer is.

 Below and at the top of the Space Needle

Some sweet views

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I wish you all could have been here on my birthday. Of course, I don't actually feel sorry for myself, since last year I was pretty damn spoiled and had the best birthday ever! But I did miss everyone.

Still, my birthday was wonderful. We had a lazy day with great presents. Evan got me this book  and a box of 64 crayons (sort of a joke gift but sort of not, since I really did want them) and a really nice watch. We had an amazingly delicious dinner at Screen Door, which is the southern restaurant right down the street that serves the mindblowing praline-bacon waffle I mentioned in my first post. For dessert, Evan baked a birthday cake!

Making sure there is a good amount of spit in the icing

CAAAAAKE!

I guess I have to explain that Nanner (or Lil' Nanner. I know, I know) is a pet name that he started using after finding out about 'Eliana Banana'. Anyway, the cake was deeeee-lish! And since there's only two of us, we ate it for like 5 days. Plus I got some fantabulous gifts in the mail over the course of those days. 23 is going to be awesome! Unless you listen to Blink 182.

Nobody likes you when you're tweeeeenty-three!

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If I'd blogged sooner, the first thing I would have mentioned was ROLLER DERBY! Last month we went to see the Rose City Rollers 2011 opener scramble (4 Portland teams playing each other). IT WAS FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC. 

My roller derby face

Also, it means 4 teams' worth of roller derby names! Some of them were lame, but here are my faves:

Harriet the Sly

Minstrel Psycho (took Evan a while to get this one)

Napoleon Blownapart

Firecrotch

She-Rex

The Blast Unicorn

Twat Rocket

Shove Me Tender

Frisky Sour

Domesticated Violence

Tits n Assphalt

I hope I get to go to another game before I leave. The atmosphere is great. At first you're just sitting there trying to figure out the rules and stuff, but before you know it you're on the edge of your seat yelling "GO GO GOOOOOOO!" to the underdog. It's a beautiful thing.

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Last bit of news: I'm most likely coming home mid-next-month. Makes me both happy and sad. Any plans after that are still up in the air, but one thing's for sure: WE ARE GONNA PAR-TAYYYYYYY!!!!

 Terrible hangover

No I haven't seen Black Swan yet!!!

These are my New Year's resolutions.

We're 11 days into 2011 and I haven't posted yet. What's up with that?! (I'd rather look at it that way than "It's been almost a month since my last post. I am a total failure.") Now I have to try and remember everything from way back in December. Guys, that was last year. This is gonna take some real brainpower.

The 24th was Evan's birthday, hooray! After opening his gifts, he drove us to the supermarket to get the ingredients for his birthday cake (well, birthday pie. He'd requested grasshopper pie after I nagged him for a week to pick something for me to make). I'm not sure why I didn't just get the groceries the day before; you're not supposed to go shopping on the 24th if you want to stay sane. We had to park on the street outside the parking lot. We may have been in another state. The supermarket was barely visible in the distance. Once inside, we were elbow-to-elbow with wild-eyed people pushing overflowing carts and frothing at the mouth. It was a nightmare. And then the trek back to the car...I had to carry Evan on my back, savoring the last precious drops from our canteen. It was intense.

Two of Evan's friends, Thom and Jessie, came over to celebrate with us. Thom gave us all Christmas gifts (ie things of his he wanted to get rid of since he's leaving the country soon). I got a TAMAGOTCHI!!!! It was surreal, like I was back in elementary school.  Sadly, I'm not that much better at parenting now. I've killed two of my creatures so far. 

Dead Tamagotchi

My third one is really weird-looking. I think it's punishment for my poor health standards.

Buck teeth and a hat that may very well be a dunce cap. Go figure. I also made sure to take the picture before cleaning up its poop, just for fun!

Where was I? Oh yeah, birthday. We all went out for dinner and then came home and had pie and drank mudslides with ice cream. A good way to ring in your 27th, methinks!

Christmas Day wasn't anything Christmasy. It was just Saturday. Sadly, Evan had to work, but the rest of us had fun. Jessie and I went to Thom's and vegged out all day. My one regret was agreeing to watch The Fountain. Don't watch The Fountain. Here is an excerpt from a conversation I had the next day that sums up my feelings about The Fountain: 

me: i also saw the fountain

never watch it

it's so lame

Jon: it's a very odd movie

me: it's called the fountain because hugh jackman cries through 95% of it.

Evan came home that evening with a Kinect! Everyone at his job who did enough overtime a couple of months ago was promised one, they just didn't know they'd have to wait so long to get it. But y'know...Christmas miracle! It turned out to be a lot of fun. I don't know if it's because I live under a rock or what, but I'd never heard of it before he told me he was getting one, and had never seen any ads (I guess it would help if I watched TV). So just in case you live under the same rock, here's one of their ads:

And here's what real people in non-sparkly homes look like while playing:

We also have the game Dance Central. No, there are no photos or videos of me playing, and never will be.

After a quiet New Year, the holidays are officially over. Life is good. Sometimes there's sun,

the occasional dude on a unicycle,

a funny doughnut,

colorful new beer to try,

aaaaaand Meetup.com!

Now, don't get too excited- I haven't met any crazies yet! I went to two meetups and they were both great. The first one was just a little cafe get-together. About 8 people were supposed to show up, but the turnout was just me and 3 others. Which was good for my first time, since a small group is cozy and not overwhelming. One woman was around 60 so, while nice, wasn't really someone I could relate to. But the other two were 29 and 30-something and more fun to talk to. Hopefully I'll see them again at other meetups (one of them is the organizer of that group, so I'm sure I will).

My second meetup was from a different group (lamely titled Young Portland Women Meeting For Friendship, but at least that weeds out creepy guys, or women meeting to poison each other). It was a book swap at a Mexican restaurant. There were 9 of us and we ended up with a nice range of books (you had to bring two. We had everything from Sophie Kinsella to Love in the Time of Cholera). I brought The Commitments and I Capture the Castle, and left with Uglies, which I'm excited to read, and another book whose title I keep forgetting but looks kind of crappy. Anyway, everyone there was really friendly and we had some good laughs. It's funny, I've only been to those two events but I'm hooked! It's so easy to talk to people when the reason for meeting up is that no one knows each other. I dread parties because they're big and lots of people are already friends and I feel super awkward, but meetups are nice because you're pretty much guaranteed that everyone will be friendly and un-cliquey. I would try Craigslist for more groups, but the kind of stuff they've got is...not really my thing. Some examples include:

Wagons Club (NE Portland)Organized for those interested in the care, history and restoration of old farm equipment especially wagons and their tools.

Axis Battles - Reenacting WWII in Oregon (OR, WA)Meet lots of new people who share your passion for history. Join our group, we portray german infantrymen for WWII themed tactical battles, film, and displays. Please email for more information. Also seeking Allied reenactors, you can enter battle as an American, British or Soviet soldier. 

 Looking for new girl friends ages from 40-55

LOOKING FOR TRUE HONEST GIRL FRIENDS TO HANG OUT WIITH AND LAUGH WITH. LITTLE BIT ABOUT ME I AM MARRIED FOR 23 YEARS AND I

I HAVE TWO BOYS ONE IS 22 YEAR OLD AND THE OTHER IS 20 AND THEIR NAMES ARE BRANDON AND MATTHEW.

I WOULD LIKE TO FIND FRIENDS TO GO WALKING WITH OR HAVE A GAME NIGHT OR EVEN MEET A COFFEE SHOP AS WELL.

CALL IF YOU INTERESTED MY PHONE IS 360-635-8049.

MY NAME IS LYNNE.

HOPE TO HEAR FROM SOON.

HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY!



Ahem.

So, is everyone excited about the NEW YEAR?! I know I am! 2010 was pretty good to me, I have to say. The reason I'm all the way out here is because it was so good to me. But I expect EVEN BETTER from 2011! I've already got my own personal secretary.

Stop callin', stop callin',
I don't wanna think anymore!
I left my head and my heart on the dance floor!

I hope this year is amazing for all of us! I don't know yet when I'll be coming home, but I miss all of you a lot. Neither I nor the Snoring Wonder can imagine going back to being long-distance, so there's a lot to figure out. But I trust it'll all fall into place. For now, I leave you with a bear hug and 5 off da hook mashups.

Believe In Sexual Eruption - Cher vs Snoop Dogg

"Baby" vs "Live and Let Die"

Party and Bullshit in the USA - Biggie vs Miley Cyrus

Invisible Gurls - Genesis vs Katy Perry

Cooking by the Book - Lazy Town vs Lil Jon (I'm sure you've seen this one but it cracks me up)

That's all, folks!

please hold my PBR while i type

Oh Clyde, you're hilarious! Pretending to know one day of the week from another...ha! Classic Clyde!

Today happens to be a lovely Wednesday. I can see the sun. Why I'm still indoors in my pyjamas is anyone's guess. If I do change and go out, though, the sky will immediately darken and start raining on me. Classic Portland!

Actually, the last time the sun came out was right after a rainshower, so there was an INTENSE yet NOT-DOUBLE rainbow!

That was on Monday. But let's time-travel just a bit further, to the weekend.

Evan's friend and former roommate Tim was in town this weekend from LA. I met him last time I was here, so it was nice to see a familiar face. He's a likeable, laid-back kind of guy. Facebook stalking looking at Facebook photos leads me to believe that, around people he knows better, he's a bit wacky. But the best photo is in his and Evan's yearbook. Behold!

I won't show you Evan's (non-costumed) photo, because if he found out he would probably kill me. But I will say that in the 'most likely's, he got 'most likely to sleep through a fire drill'. I would still nominate him for that.

On Friday night, Evan and I got together with Tim and some of the other people he came to visit and went to a bar called The Know. As in, you have to be a hipster in the know. Here's an illustration of some of the people there:

This drawing is a bit misleading since I only gave one person a PBR. In reality, 3/3 had them.

So the people-watching was fun, and there was live music, this guy. Definitely different. At first I was like, "my ears!" but then he grew on me.

Saturday night I didn't do much besides wallow in front of the TV. I was tired and missed everybody. ALL OF YOUUUUU! But Sunday was cool because we went to an arcade downtown where I got to kick the crap out of my sucky feelings with games like pinball, Shoot the Aliens in a Weird Warehouse Full of Barrels of Toxic Shit, and Fight Against Evan in This Martial Arts Game That You Will Surprisingly Win. Then we went to a sushi place that I wish I could take you all to because it was adooooorable! I'll show you! (via pictures that are not my own). Basically you sit around the counter, they make the sushi in the middle.

It's the conveyor belt concept, but instead of a c belt, it's TRAIN!

CHOOO CHOOOOOO! The second photo makes it look like that thing stops for no one! Well, it doesn't. It's not the Polar Express. But it goes slow enough to grab the food, is what I'm saying.

Lastly Sundaywise, we went to see The Town, which was alright, at the Laurelhurst, which is fantastic (and only a 5-min walk away!)

Movies are 3$. There are about 9 to choose from, mostly ones that have just gone onto DVD, and then one or two older movies (last time I was here we saw The 39 Steps). The place serves the usual popcorn and candy, but also pizza and wraps and BEER! PBR is in a category of its own, it's a bit weird.


Micro Beer
Pints...4.25
Pitcher...11.5
Widmer Hefeweizen
Full Sail Amber Ale
Sierra Nevada Celebration
Sierra Nevada Pale Ale
Bridgeport Ebenezer
Ninkasi Total Domination IPA
Mt. Hood Oatmeal Stout
Lucky Lab Porter
Woodchuck Hard Apple Cider

Pabst
Pints...2.5
Pitchers...6.75


I mean, I get that it can't go with the micro beers, but still. It seems inordinately popular here, like it's so cheap that it's become the One Beer to rule them all. I should try it. I know pabstolutely nothing about it! It'll probably taste like any other beer to me anyway.


Oh my god, it's past 1! I better run! Hope to see y'all round these parts again soon! 
I leave you with Evan, delighted to nap through a fire drill.

WELCOME TO P-TOWN (don't worry, wikipedia tells me this is one of its official nicknames)

Ah, Portland! Home of many a moss-covered thing!
Somehow I've already been here an entire week, so it's about time I updated y'all on my doings and surroundings. Sadly (for some of you), they do not include many hipster sightings. I just haven't spent much time in those parts of town yet. I mean, I did go into that one thrift store which was chock-a-block with flowery grandma dresses and ironically patterned sweaters. So I know where they shop. I just haven't seen them in action yet.


Back to last Friday- Evan greeted me with the best thing ever. A penis donut (technically the Cock-N-Balls donut). With my name on it. FEAST YOUR EYES!

Then we went home (2nd floor)

Where Clyde was waiting

He's cute when he's not jumping up onto the bed from the floor or down onto it from the windowsill in the middle of the night. Or when he's not climbing onto me when I'm on the computer and sticking his ass in my face.


Anyway, I'll be honest: I haven't done much. I'm just getting used to the reality of having every day free, being friendless, making myself go out when it's grey and rainy because it's always grey and rainy and you can't wait for it to be "nice out" like you would back home because that's not happening. So I've been walking a lot. Portland looks like spring and fall mixed together. A lot of the trees are bare but there's still so much green.

I like that you can see mountains in the distance. It feels cozy.

Speaking of cozy, everyone should come to Portland to go to Powell's City of Books. See, what you gotta do is walk from Evan's apartment to downtown in the pouring rain, even though you could have taken a bus. Then you scurry into Powell's, thoroughly drenched, and let the books enfold you in their warm embrace. Seriously, I wish I could show you this place. It's huge (listen to wiki: 

Powell's headquarters, dubbed Powell's City of Books, claims to be the largest independent new and used bookstore in the world.^[4] Powell's City of Books is located in the Pearl District on the edge of downtown, and occupies a full city block, between NW 10th and 11th Avenues and between W. Burnside and NW Couch Streets. It contains over 68,000 square feet (6,300 m²), about 1.6 acres (6,500 m²) of retail floor space.) 
Room after room like this, not all in a line but off to the left and right, up some stairs or down some stairs, like a layer cake labyrinth.

Well, it's dinnertime for me. Hopefully this weekend will bring exciting things for me to write about. Next week I should head back downtown where the magic happens. I should also try to find some places to volunteer (though I've discovered the joys of Netflix, which won't be great for getting me off the couch).


Miss you all!


P.S. One more drool moment:

Praline bacon waffle, yo! I know it sounds weird, but holy fuck, that shit is delicious.